Don't Let Me Go Again
by lakergirl4life
Summary: Scene Rewrite of Jason and Carly's Penthouse Goodbye 08/99 . Jarly


A/N: Here's a scene rewrite of Jason and Carly's penthouse goodbye (08/99). The dialogue used in the first two segments are from the transcripts, with the exception of the last two lines of dialogue in segment two. thanks to Sara and c!

* * *

"You know, when you showed up that night, it was raining. You were so scared. You needed me. You asked me to take care of Michael, and that's - that's when my life started. A life I thought I could never have, more than anything I could ever imagine." For anyone that didn't know him, they thought it was a one-sided relationship. They thought he gave and Carly took, but that wasn't true. She gave him as much as he gave her, if not more. "It was all because of you. It's true, Carly, you are a lot of trouble." Jason paused and Carly laughed. "You make things more complicated than they are, but - you showed me new things. You gave me a year and a half that no one can take away. Nothing will change that." No matter what, no matter where their lives took them - the bond they formed when they were a family would always remain.

"You're dumping me, right? You're dumping me," Carly said in disbelief.

"Carly, come on, you're married to somebody else," Jason said. It was his fault Carly was married to AJ, he had a chance to stop it. He knew that's what Carly wanted - she wanted him to stop her and he didn't. It was just as much his fault as it was hers.

"I don't care," Carly said.

"Well, you - you have to sneak around. You lie to AJ - you lie to Michael," Jason said.

"I don't lie to Michael," Carly said.

"Well, you will if - " Jason paused, then changed his mind. "If things stay the way they are. Even AJ's gonna catch on."

"I can take care of AJ," Carly said.

"I can't do it, Carly. I can't turn around and wonder if you're gonna be there. Here - at the warehouse, with no warning," Jason said.

"Aren't you ever glad to see me?" Carly asked.

He was always glad to see her, more than he wanted to admit. Seeing her wasn't the hard part. "Yes. But, then I have to let you go again. Until you show up the next time. Then, I have to let you go all over again." Letting her go was worse than not having her. Because it reminded him that technically she wasn't his. "I can't - I can't do it." Jason got up and walked over to the mantle.

"Well, we'll work something out," Carly said, raising her arms in frustration. "I can call before I come, I can send you smoke signals."

"Carly," Jason said. "Don't come up with any more plans." He knew Carly was trying to help, but this was how she ended up married to AJ in the first place.

Carly waited a few seconds before answering. "I'd do anything to be with you."

He knew that. She'd crawl through broken glass to be with him. But it wasn't that easy, not when she was married to his brother. "Will you leave AJ?"

Carly quickly nodded without hesitation.

AJ wasn't the least of their worries. Michael was. "Will you drag Michael through another custody fight?" Jason asked. His question was met with silence and he sighed. Michael wasn't old enough to understand what was going on around him. What he could understand though was the tension. AJ wasn't going to give up Michael without a fight, and the Quartermaines had enough money to drag this out for years. He had one shot at blackmailing AJ with the information that he hired the arsonist that burnt down the warehouse and he was still waiting for an affidavit.

* * *

"Jason?" Carly asked, walking towards him. She hated this situation and she had no one to blame but herself. Her family was separated. She was married to a man she didn't love. Her son was without the father he knew and loved. And it was all her fault. One day their family would be alright. Maybe not today, but they'd be together again.

Jason turned to look at Carly as she walked closer to him.

"I love you, and -- I know you hate it when I say that. I know it doesn't mean the same thing to you as it does to me but. I know that – I know that you love me too," Carly said. Maybe he hadn't said the words, but he loved her. She knew that he did. She thought that he would realize it when she was engaged to AJ, but he didn't.

Jason simply stared at Carly, not saying a word.

"And I'll always love you," Carly said. She started crying again and she turned away.

Jason reached out, gently touching her shoulder. "Hey, hey," Jason quietly said. He pulled Carly closer to him and cupped her face in his hand. He reached forward, tucking her hair behind her ear. He brushed her tears away with his thumbs and looked into her eyes.

The tenderness she saw there only made her cry harder. She didn't know how he could be so gentle and so caring with her when she'd blown his life apart. She held her breath as Jason pulled her closer to him and leaned forward. He was going to kiss her. He was breaking up with her and was going to kiss her goodbye. As much as she wanted to kiss him, the last thing she wanted was a kiss goodbye. As quickly as he pulled her forward, they both pulled back, then closed the distance between them in a hug.

Carly clung to Jason like he was her lifeline. She never wanted to let him go. Without him she'd drown. She started crying again and hugged him tighter. "Oh God, I love you."

Jason pulled back and Carly wiped the tears from her eyes.

"I'm sorry," Carly said. This was already hard enough and she was making it harder on Jason.

"It's okay. You have to go home?" Jason asked.

She didn't want to go, she wanted to stay here. She didn't want to go home to man she didn't love, a man she could never love. Not when she was standing in front of the only man she's ever loved. The only man she'll ever love. "Let me come home." It'd be hard, but Jason would find a way to get her out of her marriage to AJ. He'd find a way for them to keep their son. They could be together again, Jason just had to let her come home. "Don't let me go again."

* * *

_"Don't let me go again."_

He wished it were that simple. He wished he could hold her in his arms and never let her go. He never wanted to let her go in the first place. He didn't have many regrets in life, but letting her go was at the top of his list.

Carly turned away first, she looked down, grabbing her purse. "I - "

Jason gently grabbed her wrist, pulling her back into his arms, her purse falling to the floor. "Don't go," Jason quietly said. He had to fix this. Fix them. Fix their family.

Carly looked into Jason's eyes, "Do you want me to stay?"

"Yes." He pulled her body flush against his and rested his forehead against hers. She was crying again. He hated seeing her cry. He gently brushed the tears from her face and could feel her breath on his face. She was so close, close enough to kiss. He wasn't going to push her away again. He'd done that enough for a lifetime. Jason lowered his mouth to Carly's. He started out slow, savoring the taste of her lips. It'd been too long since he'd kissed her, tasted her. But now that his lips were on hers, he never wanted to stop. One kiss wasn't going to be enough and there was no way she was walking out that door.

Carly's soft moans were nearly his undoing. He wanted her. He'd never stopped wanting her. He'd pushed her away too many times, ended his nights with cold showers too many times. It wasn't going to end that way tonight. Jason pulled back, smiling slightly as he caught the look in Carly's eyes, filled with love and tinged with desire. He quickly kissed her then reached for her hand, leading her upstairs to his old bedroom.

Carly stopped when they reached the doorway. Sensing her hesitation, Jason moved his hand to her face, tracing his fingers along her jaw. "You're so beautiful," Jason said, before kissing her again. He used to be afraid of what would happen if they slept together. He thought it would ruin their friendship and somehow ruin Michael. But they hadn't slept together and they were apart, Michael wasn't just theirs anymore. Sleeping together wasn't going to fix everything, but it was a start in the right direction. Carly here in his arms was the only thing that felt right in his life. Sonny was a mess. Michael was learning to call another man, Dada. But Carly - she was right here. Here where she belonged.

"Don't change your mind. Don't say this is a mistake," Carly said.

Jason pulled back, silently cursing himself for the doubt he saw in Carly's eyes. He wanted her. He needed her. He couldn't imagine his life without her. "It's not. We're not," Jason said before kissing her again. He pulled Carly closer to him, he was almost afraid to let her go. To lose the moment, meant he could lose her and that wasn't an option. Jason stepped back from Carly, pulling her into the room with him. He stopped in front of the mirror, turning her so her back was to his chest. Jason caught her gaze in the mirror and smiled. He wanted her to see what he saw. He wanted her to see how much he wanted her, wanted to be with her. He slid his hands up her sides then gently pushed the straps of her dress from her shoulders.

Carly reached behind her back, but Jason gently pushed her hands away. He moved her hair, so it fell over one shoulder. He leaned forward kissing her bare shoulder. Carly shivered from his touch. Jason lowered the zipper and the champagne colored dress slid from her body. She looked into Jason's eyes, watching him watching her and smiled. She started to unhook her bra, but Jason's hands covered hers.

"Let me," Jason said. He lightly slid his hands over her lace covered breasts and Carly's eyes fluttered close from the contact. Jason unclasped her bra and he pushed her bra from her body. "Open your eyes." He wanted to watch her, he wanted her to watch him.

He didn't want to rush things. He'd been waiting for this moment longer than he knew. He wanted to savor every second. Carly's eyes opened and she caught his gaze in the mirror. She looked back at him with the same lust-filled gaze. Jason reached up, cupping Carly's bare breasts in his hands.

"Jase," Carly whispered. Her head fell back on his chest as his hands caressed her breasts. His touch became more insistent, he gently pinched her nipples as he squeezed her breasts. She pushed herself into him, making him harder. The firmer his touch, the faster she rubbed herself against him. "Please."

Jason turned Carly around and lowered his mouth to hers. His kiss started softly, but quickly grew with urgency as Carly started pulling at his clothes.

"You're wearing too many clothes," Carly said, stepping out of her shoes. She started unbuttoning his shirt as he kissed her neck. His tongue flicked over her pulse point and she moaned his name, her task of undressing him forgotten. Jason trailed kisses along her neck, then lifted his head as Carly moved her hands to his head, forcing him to stop and look at her. "You're distracting me."

Jason laughed softly at the impatient tone in Carly's voice. He picked her up effortlessly, carried her across the room and gently dropped her on the bed. Carly leaned back on the bed, propped up on her elbow, content to watch him. For the moment. He pushed off his shirt, then kicked off his shoes. He unbuckled his belt, groaning as Carly's hand drifted down to touch her breasts. "You're going to kill me."

"I'm showing you what you're missing," Carly said, her hand sliding down her stomach and resting at the edge of her lace panties.

Mesmerized, he watched her slide out of her panties. He could spend all day watching her. But not today. Today he wanted to touch her. And he was going to. Jason quickly peeled off the rest of his clothes and climbed into bed.

* * *

Carly tilted her head back, giving Jason a better angle to kiss her neck. She ran her hands down Jason's back, pulling him closer. She moaned as Jason slid his hands down her body and rested one between her legs. He teased her wet opening, parting her slick folds with his fingers. "Yes," Carly said, her voice as soft as a whisper. It had been too long since they'd been together like this. It was only two years but it felt like a lifetime. She knew that the summer they broke up wouldn't be the end of them, despite Jason's promise to Robin and his stubborn control.

Jason's mouth moved lower and lower until he stopped on her breasts. He flicked her nipple a few times with his free hand, before suckling it gently. Carly's hands immediately moved to his head, gripping his short hair.

Moaning his name softly, Carly writhed under Jason's touch. He knew exactly how to touch her and where. She wanted this moment to last forever and get moving at the same time. It had been too long. Carly gasped as he slipped one finger then two into her. He abandoned her breasts and started kissing her again. Short quick kisses that mimicked the actions of his fingers. He shifted and she could feel him hard and ready against her thigh. Forget wanting this moment to last forever, she wanted him in her - now. "Jase, please - now."

Jason laughed softly, "Impatient?" he asked, shifting his weight and spreading her legs wider.

For a minute she wished she had the willpower to tell him to stop, just so she could wipe that smug look off his face. But she didn't. It would be an empty threat and he knew it. "Yes," Carly said, not seeing the point in denying it. She'd wanted to be back in his bed the minute after he kicked her out of it. She hated all the time they wasted, but she pushed those thoughts down. She didn't want to think about that now, not when the man she loved was in bed with her.

Jason positioned himself at Carly's opening and slid into her in one smooth thrust. Jason reached for Carly's hands, lifting them over her head and joining their fingers. Her legs automatically wrapped around him and he groaned, "You feel so good."

"So good," Carly whispered before kissing him. She pulled her hands free of Jason's, knowing he wanted to control the pace but she wanted to touch him. Carly slid her arms around Jason's neck, pulling him closer to her. She closed her eyes, just enjoying the feel of his body pressed against hers. She could stay in this moment forever. It had never been like this before. This was different, more intense even though Jason was torturing her with slow measured strokes. They were making love, not just having sex. This couldn't be goodbye, it had to be the start of something.

As if sensing a change in her mood, Jason stilled in her. "Open your eyes," Jason quietly said, sliding one arm beneath Carly to erase what little space there was between them. Carly instinctively arched her body to his, craving more contact. Jason waited a few seconds until Carly's eyes opened and focused on his. "I love you."

Carly's eyes immediately filled with tears. "I love you." He loved her. He let himself love her. She could die right now and die a happy woman. She reached up, tracing her fingers over his face. He gently nipped one of her fingers and she tilted her head back as he kissed her neck. Jason started moving again, at first slowly then faster as she whispered to him how good he felt.

* * *

Jason brushed Carly's sweat dampened hair back from her face as he pulled her closer. Carly sighed contentedly as she rested her head on Jason's chest. For the first time in a long time, things were going his way. They could finally just be - just enjoy the moment, not have to worry about what happened next. Neither of them was perfect, they'd made more than enough mistakes between the two of them but they were stronger together than apart. They still had to figure out the legalities of everything, but that would be easy compared to this. They always did everything backwards, everything the hard way. But as long as it led to this moment right here, he didn't care. "I love you," Jason said. He wasn't sure when he fell in love with her, but he had. Maybe it was the thought of losing her that pushed him forward, erasing the doubt he had about their future. He didn't care, they were together now.

Carly lifted her head, smiling lazily at him. "I wasn't hallucinating, was I?"

"No," Jason said. He watched a million questions flash through her eyes, and he was sure he couldn't answer any of them because knowing Carly, they all dealt with when it happened. Or why now. "I love you."

Carly smiled, "My three favorite words," Carly said.

"I'm going to fix this," Jason promised. The sooner Carly and Michael were out of the mansion, the better. But he couldn't move them until AJ was neutralized. "I have someone looking for the arsonist. I have a really strong lead - "

"You want me to stay there," Carly said, pulling back from him.

"No," Jason said. He hated the idea of them staying in that house a second longer. "But I need you to stay there. I don't want to tip off AJ and I don't want you to - "

"I'm not going to panic," Carly said.

"Just a little while longer," Jason said, running his hand up and down Carly's arm. "I'll have Justus get everything in place, so the second I have the arsonist, I can get you out of there." Carly waited a few moments to answer him. He knew she wanted to leave tonight, and if it was just Carly she could. But they couldn't risk the Quartermaines buying a judge that would grant AJ custody while they waited for the arsonist. "I'm not going to let you go again."

THE END


End file.
